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It was a cold and stormy day in January when they met. Sean was standing behind his mother, watching her sign copy after copy of the latest bestseller written by him, using her name as a cover. Ken sat across the room, signing his month in the calendar, the latest ploy by the team to drum up business for charity. It was Ken’s baby, his idea to make a beefcake calendar of some of the better-looking players on the team and it was selling almost better than the book. Sean had seen Ken sitting on the other side of the room, smiling and flirting with the many ladies lined up to buy a copy and have it signed by their favorite baseball player. He had always noticed Ken Simms, for he was an absolutely beautiful man. He was tall, very athletic, and as he could see from the full page blow up of the calendar, very well built. He had a muscular, toned body, covered in dark hair from his collarbones in wonderful swirls along his chest until it thickened in a deep swath from mid sternum down along his belly into his team pants.
Sean felt out of place and a bit like an ogre at the Women’s Conference. But he always felt that way. He was six-eight and he got so wrapped up in his writing that he often let his appearance go a bit. He’d forget to cut his hair and seldom shaved. His body was big, naturally huge and it only got more toned and large with the workouts he did to ease some of the stress, some of the loneliness. His mother had taken him to see her friend and she had cut his hair and trimmed his unruly beard, but he still felt out of place, a bit like a rugged mountain man in this room of dainty, petite women. If only he had known that Ken sat across the room and couldn’t help but notice him.
Ken had always been attracted to tall, big men, being one himself. Although a mere six-three, he had always been so much taller than most other people. He watched as Sean stood over his mother, watched all that she did. Many people shied away from him, but Ken couldn’t help but notice that the man was gruff in appearance, but had the sweetest, saddest, kindest eyes he had ever seen. Those eyes belied the big, scary exterior and led right into the soul of the man. He only half listened to the many women, clamoring for his autograph as he surreptitiously watched the man across the room. He felt his pulse quicken as he caught him more than once staring back at him.
As the conference wound down on this final day, the crowds started to thin and Sean felt bereft that it would all be over. He had overheard such incredible praise coming from the fans of his work. In so many ways he wished he could come right out and say that the work was his and that it was his heart and soul that he poured into each story, that it was his hopes and dreams and belief in love that was in every word. But who would want to read the hopes and dreams of a big, ugly gay man? So he stood behind his mother, ever grateful that she had stepped forward when he couldn’t sell his first book. She had taken one look at her son, seen his hopes fading as he got rejection after rejection. She put her name to his work and submitted it, gaining a multiple book contract that got extended over and over again. He was so talented. Her pride in him knew no bounds.
The moderators of the conference asked that the guests stay in place while they made sure all the doors were shut before leaving. Ken took that opportunity to make his way over to add his praise of the woman’s work. He had read each book, and although it was always about a man and woman finding everlasting love, it spoke to him so deeply, answered so many of his own hopes and dreams, that he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say so. Playing major league baseball meant living a lie, living life in the closet. He was gay, but his team manager and coaches had always schooled him to stay in the closet, to perpetuate the lie. Professional sports wasn’t ready for an openly gay player. It stymied his life to the point where he stopped even trying to date at all. For Ken could never ask anyone to live the secret. He had tried twice, and both times the relationship faltered before it even started. So he lived his life alone, his hand being his constant companion. He wasn’t proud of himself, but he got so lonely last season that he hooked up with one of the team groupies and used her body to slake his lust, just so he could be connected to someone for a few hours. It had been highly unsatisfying.
As Ken made his way to the table with Margaret Anderson, he couldn’t help but smile as izmir escort he felt the eyes of the big man behind her follow his every move. He had never been the object of someone’s deep scrutiny before, at least not someone who was so ruggedly handsome, so completely masculine, so fiercely virile looking. He was the epitome of whom Ken found most attractive in a man. He shared kind words with Margaret; all the while feeling those sad, kind eyes follow him, watch him, and devour him. It sent a chill down his spine and made his cock twitch and plump.
Sean stared in fascination as Ken stood talking with his mother, heaping praise upon her writing. He had no idea that someone as sexy, as gorgeous as Ken Simms, star catcher and potential MVP, would read his writing. It was both humbling and thrilling. He caught himself from smiling, which was never a good thing. He remembered the harsh words that his only lover had used when he left, remembered the feeling of failure, the feeling of inadequacy. He was always going to be a big brute, clumsy and awkward. Alone. It had been three years and the sting was still with him. David had moved on, had found happiness and here he was, without someone but filled with so much love to give. That’s why he put everything into his writing, filled each word with his soul. He didn’t have someone to hold, but he did have the ability to share with others his heart, his soul. It wasn’t really enough, but he lied to himself so he’d believe it was.
Margaret excused herself and headed to the facilities, four hours being too long to hold a bladder. Ken took the opportunity to at least try and talk to the big man. He was so nervous, so unsure of the response he’d get. But the hungry looks that he thought were hidden gave Ken the clues that his words might be appreciated. He looked up into those kind eyes and almost flinched at the raw look of pain, the haunted look of sadness he saw in them. Ken smiled so big, trying to put the big guy at ease.
“Hi. I’m Ken Simms.”
He got a smile. “I know who you are. Sean Anderson.”
“So Margaret Anderson is your mother?”
“You must be very proud.”
If he hadn’t been watching those eyes, such a deep chocolate brown, he’d have missed the subtle shift. There was more to it than that, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. But he’d like to find out, delve into those eyes and look into the soul of the man, search for the hurts and help him move past them. For the first time in his twenty-four years, Ken wanted to connect, wanted to be a part of a whole. He had the same feeling with his team, but this was different, this was of an intimate nature, a deeper desire than any other he had known.
As the two men continued to talk trivialities about the weather, Sean felt his heart race and his palms grow sweaty. He had felt like this before, that time he’d gone to a bar and started chatting up this guy who was so beautiful. That undeniable feeling of attraction and desire that clenched his gut and made him feel weak in the knees had him hard. But just as he started to go with the feelings assaulting him, he remembered whom he was, and that his desire was never returned. He smiled politely at Ken, once there was an uncomfortable pause in the conversation, and made his excuses, trying so hard not to let his feelings show on his face, the disappointment and hurt. As he moved to walk by Ken, he felt in his gut the loss, but he still started to walk away, moving towards the other side of the room and his waiting mother.
Ken stared in amazement as Sean moved away. He hadn’t missed the smile that formed on his lips. He had such a nice smile, straight white teeth poked out from his lips, making such a sharp contrast with that dark beard and moustache. Then for some reason, the light seemed to fade from his eyes and the smile vanished. As he walked by, he could have sworn he saw the man’s shoulders slump. Ken wondered what had happened in his life to make him feel this way, for he looked so lost and alone. In that moment, some unknown well of courage made him reach out and put his hand on the man’s shoulder. He was positive he felt a shudder under his sweaty palm.
“Sean.” He had to clear his throat from a sudden spear of desire that grabbed him at the feel of the warm, burly muscle under his palm. “Next week I leave for Spring Training, but I was hoping we might be able to spend some of my time together.” His voice got timid and he gave Sean a sheepish smile, “to get to know each other.” And Ken almost gasped, wondering where that had come from.
Sean was taken aback. Get to know each other? A pulse of desire and something akin to hope made him answer. “I’m in between projects at the moment and I was going to go recharge at my cabin.”
Ken couldn’t stop the grin. “That sounds wonderful. Where is it?”
Sean gave him the general area of the cabin’s location and the idea of being alone for a few days with this handsome, intriguing man had Ken almost drooling. “That really sounds good. Care for some company?”
Sean almost got angry, wondering why he was being toyed with. But alsancak escort he schooled his expression, remembering that this was a busy man, someone who was probably mobbed as badly as his mother was. And the cabin did have two bedrooms. “I’ll leave tomorrow morning, early. How about I swing by and pick you up at five?”
“That’s great!” Then Ken gave him his address and the two men parted, both feeling elated and weary at the same time.
Early the next morning, Sean was driving towards Ken’s house, nervous, wondering why he had agreed to this. It wasn’t like he needed company. He’d gotten by on his own for the past three years. He was twenty-seven, not some child who needed coddling. In his mind, this felt like a mistake. But there was a small kernel of hope that wouldn’t be denied. Ken lived in a nice neighborhood, his home nicely maintained.
Why was he doing this? What did he hope to gain? The answers were obvious. The lust inside him was strong. The ever-present wish to love someone completely was even stronger. But so were the fears and doubts. Could he survive if something happened? Could he survive if nothing happened? His mind raced and all he could remember is those hateful, hurtful final words from David. “You are clumsy and oafish.” “You’re selfish and uncaring.” “You’re lousy in bed, Sean.” He knew in his heart that these things weren’t true. But they were the same words he had heard over and over throughout his life. The shyness of youth never left, and as his body grew bigger and stronger, it only got worse. It was only when David took control that he actually had sex with someone and all that love that had hidden for so long went pouring into that relationship. Unfortunately, it made Sean blind to all the warning signs: the infidelity, the verbal abuse and innuendos. Because he didn’t know any different, he put up with it and now here he sits in front of a famous ballplayer’s house, wondering what the hell he was getting himself in to.
Ken had been unable to sleep the night before. He’d finally given up about three, and got up and worked out, trying to work off some nervous energy. He’d packed for whatever condition he might face. Out of some perverted sense of hope, he’d also included condoms.
Ken was nervous, no doubt about it. They passed few words amongst themselves for the first hour, they both felt foolish. Sean still wondered why he agreed. He used this time to plot out his next book. Of course, he already had about ten couples’ stories floating in his head at any given moment, now it just depended on which one stood out and said that it was their time to be told. He felt kind of like a fraud, writing about straight couples, but then again, love was love, gay, straight or bisexual.
After an hour, conversation started up between them, they shared stories about childhood and Sean learned about Ken’s love of baseball, his pursuit of it and his feeling of joy at getting recruited right out of college and being named rookie of the year last year. This year, it was hoped that the team would make it to the World Series. Sean smiled at Ken’s boyish enthusiasm. He was so excited, absolutely pumped at the coming season. His hope was infectious. Sean had taken his nephews to all the home games; he had bought season tickets for the three of them and had been going for the past three years. This time, he was looking forward to the season, knowing this player, knowing he would be cheering him on. Sean didn’t say, but he knew in his heart that the reason he allowed him to come with him was because he had noticed him that first day on the field. The catcher was so beautiful and he and the boys always watched the warm-up. This guy was so real, so honest and good that he always made time to talk to fans. The boys both had autographs from him. Of course he wouldn’t remember them, but the boys treasured it nonetheless. Even deeper in thought, Sean realized that he had gone to bed and stroked himself to the thought of Ken several times. The idea of a catcher was not only a crude joke, but also thinking about someone who spent the majority of their time squatting, Sean was sure that his ass and legs would be strong and muscular. The thought had him plumping in his pants as he thought about it.
As they got to the cabin, Ken looked out and was surprised, this place seemed to be more of a home than just a weekend place and he wondered how much time Sean spent here. Once they got inside, Sean led Ken to a bedroom with a queen size bed and a nice view of the lake. He was both disappointed and relieved that Sean carried his bag into another bedroom. Ken was given a quick tour of the house and was pleased to see a well-stocked refrigerator and a good kitchen. There was plenty of everything. The two sat down and Sean started a fire. They talked for a few hours, not realizing that time was flying so quickly. Ken was thrilled that they seemed to click so well, learning that they had similar beliefs in politics, religion, views on society and even a keen sense of history. buca escort They liked similar types of music and movies. Of course Ken liked his mother’s books and they talked about those, Ken wondering at the shy and almost embarrassed look that Sean gave him over it. After a few hours, they were both hungry and made lunch together companionably. All the while, the sexual tension deepened and thickened for both men.
Later that night, Sean lay back in bed and marveled at how well the day had gone. They had laughed and joked while making lunch, and Sean was amazed at how good dinner had been. Ken had cooked, even did the dishes. It was so tasty, flavorful and well seasoned. Sean was drifting to sleep, knowing that tonight he’d sleep better then he had in quite some time. Even if nothing ever happened, it was good to spend time with someone again. He had missed this so much, but it wasn’t until he actually had another person around that he realized how empty he was, how alone. His eyes drifted shut and he was smiling, almost not able to wait until tomorrow morning when he’d get up and go jogging with Ken.
The first rays of dawn came in through the slats in the blinds in Ken’s room. But Ken was already awake, had been for two hours, ever since he had woken to sticky sheets and his sweaty, heaving breaths. Yesterday had been so much fun. It was so good to just be. Just exist with someone. It had been so long since he’d allowed himself to be with someone and just let it all hang out, to be himself and not try and hide his desire, his wants, his thoughts. He remembered Jim, the guy he played with a bit in high school. That relationship had been so completely one-sided. He’d gone down on him one day after practice, and it had continued. But Jim was straight and only testing the waters, and when the year was over and they went to different schools, Jim didn’t care to associate with him at all. Then there was his roommate his junior year. That had lasted one glorious weekend, but it didn’t get repeated. Once he got to the majors, it was over. His own hand had been his only friend, lover and release. But last night, his dreams had been filled with Sean. The way he looked, the strength of his hands, the gentle, sweet smile he gave. He loved the way he laughed, loved the brush of his body against his. It had only happened once, but it had electrified him. And last night, just before bed, Sean had raised his arms to stretch, revealing his furry belly, Ken had felt his throat tighten and his heart rate speed up. He had gone to bed with his mind filled with the sweet torture of licking that furry belly, delving into the tight button of his navel.
Ken hopped out of bed and slipped on his briefs, t-shirt, sweats and zip up fleece sweater. He tied his tennis shoes and headed for the kitchen and the coffee maker. While waiting for the coffee to brew, he crept down the hall, curious if Sean were up yet. As he pushed open the bedroom door, he saw Sean lying on his belly on the bed, clad only in a pair of simple briefs. His darkly furred legs shifted restlessly, only his feet covered by the blankets. Ken swallowed hard as his eyes trailed up the long length of him, over the muscular and tight ass under the simple white cotton, the flare of dark hair in the small of his back, the muscular shoulders and the dark, furry forearm slung over the pillow. Ken was about to step away when Sean moaned then flopped over onto his back. Ken couldn’t move at that point, because Sean was erect, pushing up on the elastic of his briefs, tenting them to the point of bursting. Ken swallowed audibly as Sean shifted his legs, squirmed his back. His underwear was damp, a large wet spot allowing Ken to see the flared head of his very thick, very long cock. Ken thickened in his own right and began to pant at the sight of Sean’s excitement and agitation. Sean kept shifting his legs and arching his back, accentuating the flat belly and deep chest, all of it covered under a thick carpet of dark, curly hair. With a mumbled gasp of Ken’s name, Sean tensed and Ken watched as that thick cock convulsed in heated spasms, leaking thick, ropy gobs of semen through the thin cotton covering, propelling cum up his belly as Sean moaned over and over as his orgasm subsided. Ken couldn’t catch his breath, his face was hot and his throat thick with desire. He barely had time to back out into the hall as Sean bolted up into a sitting position.
Ken snuck back into the kitchen and poured himself a half-cup of coffee, not being able to handle more, since his hands were shaking so badly. He splashed water onto his face, trying to cool the heat of desire. He prayed that his erection would go away. Just to make sure, Ken took his coffee cup out to the porch, hoping the frigid mountain air would calm him. A few minutes later, a flushed and sheepish looking Sean joined him, and whatever control Ken had gained in the cool air vanished. His cock plumped right back to full erection and his breathing picked up again. Sean had taken a shower; he had a cup of coffee in his hand and couldn’t quite meet Ken’s eyes. Ken felt so powerful, so good knowing that Sean felt these same feelings, the same need and desire. That allowed him to gain control over his raging hormones and greet the man with a smile. They were dressed similarly, and after finishing their coffee, they set off for a brisk jog around the lake.