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As I walked into the office my phone rang. It was Alecia. “Hi Kelli.”

I was a bit stunned that’s just all I needed right at that moment. “Hi Alecia.”

“Kelli I wanted to talk to you if you have a minute.”

“OK Alecia let’s hear it.”

“Babes I wanted to apologise for stealing Maddy away. She wanted to come to see you in person before leaving but I asked her not to. She feels really bad about what happened.”

“Tell her that I am disappointed but I guess I understand. Siobhan is distraught though.”

“Give her a hug and a kiss from us both. How is Lauren coping, she was really upset last night. Does she hate me?”

I laughed. “Well don’t hold your breath for a Christmas card.” She laughed along with me. “Kelli you have to look after her. Please promise me you will step up babes.”

“I will help where I can but we just had a huge argument. I am not sure she will talk to me again.”

“That’s crap and you know it. She always blames you and then yells and screams but you know how much she loves you. She is going to need you more than ever.”

“As I said Alecia I will help if I can but she has Josh now. It will be up to him to carry the load.”

“Humph.” She sighed. “Don’t expect anything from him he is fucking useless he can’t even look after himself.”

I sniggered. “What happened to all that Josh is wonderful, Josh is so sexy, Josh is the best? What about all that shit you were trying to sell me.”

She giggled. “Babes he is fun in bed and he is nice but he couldn’t organise a fuck in a brothel he is soft. Yes granted he has a big cock and he was starting to learn a little about licking pussy but he is fucking hopeless and he will drag Lauren down with him if you aren’t careful.”

“Fuck you are a bitch; you wanted me to hire him.”

She sighed. “Babes he is a good architect I have seen his work but he can’t think for himself. He needs to be guided all the time. Working with you would have been perfect for him. He could have learned so much from you.”

“Alecia how is this fuck up my problem?” She laughed again. “You love that girl we both know it and she loves you. I told you many times you two are meant to grow old together and I meant it.”

“What can I do? She hates me now. She won’t even talk to me.”

“Don’t be naive She is sitting there waiting for you. I know how she thinks. There is only one person in the world she wants to talk to at the moment and that’s you. She is just as lost as you. She wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how to approach it.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because it’s always been that way with you two hasn’t it. You argue and fight. You are a bloody idiot Kelli. She loves you and you love her. Bite the bullet babes go and see her open your heart and let her back in.”

I sucked in a big breath. “It’s not that simple now Alecia.” I stuttered and fumbled with the words. “I have sort of moved on. As much as I love her I have found someone else.”

I could hear her heavy breathing. “Oh I see, no guesses who that is. Siobhan I suppose?”

“Uh huh.” I muttered.

“Oh well you have lifted a weight off Maddy’s chest. She was feeling so guilty about leaving her. That doesn’t diminish your responsibilities babes. Lauren needs you.”

We ended that conversation less like adversaries and more like friends.

What to do about Lauren?

Siobhan walked in and walked up and kissed me. It was passionate and heart wrenching. The feel of her hot wet lips was intoxicating.

Once we separated she slipped into business mode and wanted to talk about Candy’s new range. She was almost finished and we needed to plan a release.

As we talked and planned Lauren slipped further to the back of my mind.

Siobhan must have sensed my discomfort. “Kelli you have barely been listening to me. It’s Lauren isn’t it?”

I nodded. “Yes I don’t know what to do. She needs help.”

She held my hand in a death grip. “Then help her. Do something.”

“I don’t know what to do? What’s more I don’t think she will even talk to me. We had a huge argument this morning.”

We left it at that. We went into work planning. There was plenty to do.

As days drifted by our lives became more tightly entwined. Siobhan moved in and we became lovers. Life was settling into a heavenly state of bliss. Siobhan was so easy to live with it was so different to living with Lauren and even Alecia. She is kind and tender. She took control of the apartment arranging and buying things for it. She did more than her fair share of the house work.

Thank god we had been able to stop using condoms. I hate them, nothing kills the moment more than having to stop to pull on a bloody rubber. She started taking the pill after our very first time. I wasn’t that worried, after reading some of the info about HRT I figured I was probably sterile anyway. I mean the dose I was taking was small and I didn’t take it all the time. Still it was nice to not have to use condoms.

If there was a problem with our relationship fikirtepe escort it was sex. She was lost and didn’t really know what to do with a penis. We made love like lesbians. I mean we do fuck consummated our relationship immediately and she does love it when we make love. It’s during foreplay that we have problems. She hasn’t really mastered the art of fellatio hand jobs or navigating the male plumbing. There was definitely no way she would even consider letting me cum in her mouth. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to she just seemed lost. I tried to help by telling her what I liked but she got defensive and accused me of not enjoying being with her. I made a conscious decision to just go with it. I had enough sex when Lauren, Alecia and I lived together to last most men a lifetime.

Apart from sex the other sticking point was where to live. Her apartment was much nicer than mine but I loved the ocean views as did she. Mine was however too small. When you have as many clothes as I do you need space? When you add Siobhan’s wardrobe to the mix suddenly we have an apartment bulging at the seams with satin lace and leather.

Apart from arguing about where to live we were happy. Hiding in the back of my mind was what to do about Lauren. I knew from talking to Karla that she was struggling. Not with her business which as I suspected was flourishing. It was her private life that was a mess. Thankfully Lauren and Karla had been able to rekindle their friendship. I think that was probably the only thing keeping her afloat.

When Karla and I spoke it was always focused on Lauren and she pleaded with me to try and rebuild our relationship just as she had.

I wanted to I really did but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Our last meeting had been so filled with hatred and vitriol. I also knew from the same source that Lauren and Josh were struggling in their relationship. Lauren was such a ball buster and hard worker she was pushing Josh but he was buried in his own self-loathing and insecurity.

So my life was meandering along and it was nice to be free from drama. It took another twist at the next board meeting. I sent Alecia an invitation but she declined siting work as her main issue. She did send me an email explaining she had assigned her right of proxy to Lauren.

The meeting rolled around and Lauren turned up looking spectacular. If she was struggling as Karla suggested she was hiding it well. They sat snuggled together and were obviously tight.

We worked our way through the order of business including the expansion. Candy ran us through her new designs and then we set about planning a show to promote its release. I am not sure we have ever had a smoother easier meeting.

The only sticking point had been Candy demanding that I again be part of the modelling team. I was hoping to separate myself from it but she was adamant. Siobhan was no help. She wanted to follow our previous successes. Her logic was if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

Candy threw me though. She stood up to address the group although she was staring at me. “I want the models to be transgender. I want the world to know that you can be sexy and beautiful even if you weren’t born a woman.”

I sunk down and hunched my shoulders. “Then that settles it there is no requirement for me to model. I think it’s a great idea and I would love to use an all transgender line up. However if we do I won’t be part of it.”

Candy looked a little deflated and I could see she wanted to say more but swallowed whatever it was and sat back down. The meeting descended into silence. Karla finally responded. “Honey I am all in favour of supporting the Trans community. Shit ninety percent of our staff is gender fluid. Kelli we could promote it as supporting Transgender people supported by you.”

Candy spat out caustically. “No forget it. It’s a terrible idea anyway. Let’s just do what we always do.”

I could see the hurt straining her face as she struggled to keep her emotions under control.

Siobhan interrupted. “No I think Karla has something. We can do both. We don’t have to out you baby.” The moment she called me baby Lauren winced. Siobhan noticed as well but carried on. “We can still use a line-up that includes Tran’s girls. We can still support the trans community.”

Lauren spoke for the first time. “I agree with Candy. It should be all in or forget it. We are either in or out. She stared across the table at me. “Kelli you complained to me once that you didn’t want to live your life as a lie. Well isn’t that what you are doing now?”

I turned away unable to hold her gaze. I felt the weight of embarrassment suffocating me.

Candy had a big smile spreading across her face. “Thank you Lauren. It’s what I have been telling her for ages.”

Karla shrugged. “Well what do you say Kelli? Is this it? Is it time to tell the world?”

I could feel my cheeks burning as I blushed. “No it’s not actually.” I puffed out my chest. “I will make that decision when I am ready not when you gebze escort think it’s time. You all think you know what’s best for me. Let’s not forget this isn’t a game. It is actually my life we are talking about.”

Candy reached over and grabbed my hand. “There’s no pressure sweetie. You will know when the time is right but whatever happens I want you on that runway.”

“No Candy this is the perfect time for me to take a step back. There are lots of beautiful Trans girls we can use. I would like to remove myself from that aspect of our business anyway. I want to concentrate on managing and driving this company.”

She shook her head dismissively. “Sweetie you are the heart of this company. All our success has been driven by your involvement. I agree that sometime in the future it’s a good idea but for now we need you. There are plenty of people who come to our shows just to see you. Don’t you see, you are our star. Every successful Fashion House has a face. You are ours.”

In the end we broke up without a resolution.

As we were leaving Lauren approached me. “Kelli can we talk in private?”

Siobhan had been walking with me her hand in mine. When Lauren asked to talk she let my hand go and gave me a smile and a nod.

Lauren and I walked back inside. She hugged me with both arms. “God I have missed you. I am sorry I have been such a bitch.”

I hugged her back luxuriating in having her in my arms. “I miss you as well Lauren. I have wanted to come and see you. Every day you are still in my thoughts. I hate that we are no longer talking.”

She slipped her hand behind my head and pulled me into a kiss. “Oh god baby I have missed this as well. I have fucked up everything. Do you hate me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous Lauren I could never hate you.”

She laughed. “What… never!” I laughed with her. “Yeah you are right I have hated you with a vengeance at different times. But no not now. I know I have said some things I shouldn’t have and for that I apologise.”

She hugged me tighter and I could feel the heat of her body pressed up against me. “But you have moved on haven’t you? You have Siobhan. You don’t need me anymore.”

I felt the tears welling up inside and I pushed my head into her shoulder so she didn’t see. “Yes I have but god I miss you. I miss you so much and you are wrong I do need you.”

We stood together for a while before she pulled back. “Can we at least be friends, even if it’s just lunch?” I agreed to meet her for lunch tomorrow so we could really talk.

By the time I got to the car Siobhan was waiting expectantly. “Well what did she want?”

Hesitantly I muttered. “She wants to be friends. She wants to meet for lunch tomorrow.”

She nodded. “Oh I see, am I invited?” I tried to smile. “Of course. If you want to come then there will be no problem.”

She sniggered. “Yeah right. She would kill me if I turned up.” I chuckled. “Kill is a strong word, I probably would have gone with strangled.”

Her snigger turned into a giggle. “No I think I will leave you two love birds to it.”

I was a bit concerned with her statement. I grabbed her by the shoulders. “Babe there is nothing in this. I would never cheat on you.”

She leaned in and kissed me. “I know that hon. I would never leave you alone with her if I didn’t trust you because I certainly don’t trust her.” She glared at me. “Did you kiss her just before?”

I nodded guiltily. “Yes we kissed, but that’s all we did.”

“Kelli you never have to lie to me. I know that you still have feelings for her. You can say what you like but you can’t hide from that.

I met Lauren for lunch and the moment I saw her all of the old emotions floated to the surface. She looked amazing. She had gone to a lot of trouble to look that good so I knew how much this meant. When I thought about it I smiled inwardly because I had been late for work because I had spent so much time in front of the mirror getting ready myself. I had chosen my little yellow dress which I love so much. It didn’t go unnoticed by Siobhan either. She got sick of waiting for me and left without me. Her parting words were. You are such a fucking girl!!

Lauren greeted me with a kiss, just a friendly little kiss but it was sweet and wet my appetite for more.

We talked work. Her new business was going great she had plenty of clients and the numbers were growing exponentially. She asked about the expansion and how it was going. Eventually we got to the part that was going to hurt the most. “So how’s thing going between you and Siobhan?”

I smiled I didn’t want to rub her nose in it. “OK I guess.” She laughed. “Kelli don’t lie to me babe. I saw that look. I take it things are good?”

I nodded. “Yes things are good. Siobhan is wonderful. What about you? How are things with Josh?” I couldn’t miss the sharp intake of breath and she turned away. “Not so good. Josh is struggling. He can’t seem to get his business going. He can’t find any new clients. He did get a couple of house plans to içerenköy escort draw up but he had to cut his rates to get them. He feels so low at the moment. His ego has taken a huge hit. I can’t live with him at the moment. He is so moody and argumentative. We just seem to go from one argument to the next.”

“Lauren maybe he just isn’t one of those guys who can work for himself. Maybe he should just look for a job.”

She smouldered sulkily. “You think he hasn’t tried that. He has been to just about every firm in town. His reputation has been really destroyed by that fucking malicious article.”

I bit my lip. “What about further afield, there are other firms maybe he will have to move.” I tried to make a bit of a joke. “Or maybe he will just have to be your house bitch.”

She sniggered. “Fuck that he looks terrible in an apron and he is worse than fucking useless in the kitchen.”

“Now, now baby. He can’t be that bad. Maybe just keep him as a sex toy.”

She giggled mischievously. “Yeah well he is good at that at least.”

I couldn’t help it I sniped. “Really Alecia said he can’t lick pussy to save himself.”

I saw her wince as she tried to hurt me. “Well he makes up for it with his cock.”

I felt a splash of jealousy as she spoke and she saw my expression change. “Hey you said it.”

I laughed along with her. “Yeah you are right I deserved that. I hope it works out for you baby I really do.”

The smile disappeared from her face. “We will see I suppose, but honestly just between us I am not holding my breath. I am sick of his whining and moaning.”

We had our lunch and as we ate she mumbled. “Baby the other night at the meeting. Candy was really upset with you. Don’t you think it’s time to stop hiding?”

To be honest she had made me think with her comment at the meeting. I saw the hurt on Candy’s face and I felt guilty for not supporting her. It just scared the shit out of me.

“Lauren I want to I really do but I am scared. You hit the nail on the head I am living a lie.”

“Then be strong and tell the world. Honestly people will be supportive.”

I wasn’t convinced but we were getting along so well I didn’t want to fight.

Of course Siobhan wanted to know how our lunch date went. When I wasn’t that forthcoming she got nervous and pushed a little harder until I told her about the main topic which was me coming out. She hugged me and kissed me. “Honey its nothing to be ashamed of. I can’t believe I am going to say this but I agree with Lauren.”

“But what if it goes tits up and blows up in our faces? What if we lose customers?”

“We won’t lose customers I guarantee that. Everybody loves Kelli. All our clients know that Candy is Trans and they still love her.”

I wasn’t convinced. “People will feel cheated because I have lied to them.”

“Honey you haven’t lied, you just haven’t been forthcoming. I think people will support you. I think we will get more business not less.”

For the next week it was all I could think about. It was like Lauren, Candy and Siobhan were joined in a common cause to get me to come out.

Eventually after a long conversation with Candy I folded. The sheer weight of the guilt they were piling on me forced my hand.

It was after a very passionate session of lovemaking and Siobhan and I were relaxed in each other’s arms I spurted out. “OK I am going to do it.”

She nuzzled into my neck. “What’s that baby?”

I am going to tell the world. I am coming out of the closet.”

She sat up with a huge grin on her face. “Oh baby you just made me so happy. Thank you and don’t worry you won’t be sorry. It’s going to be fine.” That was easy for her to say but I didn’t feel so confident.

I had a lunch date with Lauren the next day and when I told her she beamed a million watt smile. “Baby that is brilliant I am so proud of you. It’s the right thing to do.”

That night after dinner Siobhan kept me at the table. She dragged out her laptop and showed me through a presentation. It was all about me coming out. She watched me carefully as I worked my way through it. “Babe I want you to do an interview tomorrow which we will film and put up on the web site. I have already started to talk to radio stations and TV stations. Once I told them about the story they are falling over themselves to have you. Baby this is going to be so much bigger than anything we have ever done. This is going national. Once word started to get out I have been fighting them off all day. I was offered a lot of money for an exclusive story”

I was shocked at the reaction.

The next few days disappeared in a flash it went from interview to interview. My face was plastered across every newspaper in town and even a few nationally.

It was pandemonium. I was expecting to be treated like a pariah by the people I had mislead but it seemed to work in reverse. I felt this huge swell of acceptance.

Lauren and I had never got on as well as we were at the moment. Things weren’t going so well with her and Josh though. He and Lauren were drifting apart. It was fuelled mostly by his inability to pick himself up and make something happen. He was seemingly trapped in a hole he couldn’t climb out of. I almost felt sorry for him. I did say almost just not quite.