The next week was a roller-coaster of emotions. Waves of intense guilt for the sex with Jeff hit me hard, very hard. I knew I could keep it a secret from Greg, but it also was tearing me up inside. I couldn’t help but think that, if I was capable of so willingly hopping into bed with Jeff, what else was I capable of doing? That thought itself was very frightening, especially when I got to thinking too much about how pleasurable the sex had been, how intense the orgasms had been.
I found myself fantasizing about sexual experiences I had always wanted to try, but didn’t. I kept recalling the end of my sophomore year in college, when a girlfriend of mine had asked if we could get together to experiment… and somehow it never worked out, and she didn’t come back the next fall. The boyfriend my junior year who wanted to try anal sex. And always the thought of being with two men at the same time. For years I had wondered about them, even thought about trying to live them out, after I married Greg, but I figured that if it hadn’t happened by now, it wasn’t going to happen, so I slowly but surely said goodbye to all those fantasies. I thought they were gone forever… but they weren’t.
The worst (or best, depending on how you look at it), were the erotic dreams that seemed to plague me almost every night. Flashes of a woman’s legs spread wide, her pussy exposed and glistening, a well-manicured finger sliding up and down over the clit. The overwhelming feeling of being filled by a cock… from behind, from on top. My mouth opening and a wet cock sliding in, gagging me. Being eaten over and over again by a gentle, feminine tongue. And I had had the same dream again, three times now, of being with both Jeff and another man at the same time.
I was horrified with myself that I could find it so incredibly erotic. I tried hard to not think about the sex, but even found myself fantasizing about being with Jeff again, and at times felt justified for doing what I had done, and began to think I was making a bigger deal of it than it really was. All I knew was that alternating between the feelings of guilt and pleasure was exhausting.
And then, the phone rang. It was my mother, calling to remind me of the family get-together at their house for the upcoming weekend. It was marked on my calendar and only served to trigger memories and feelings, every time I saw it. I was dreading it, because I honestly wasn’t sure how I would react to being around Jeff again. Would my mind recoil in disgust, even while my body got aroused? Would Jeff be able to keep it a secret, as he had assured me? I had visions of walking into Mom & Dad’s house with Greg and Brayden, only to see the living room full of our family and friends watching a slide show of all the pictures and videos Jeff had taken. And what the hell was I thinking, letting him take photos? In the rush to get him out of the house before Greg got home, we hadn’t had a chance to delete the ones with our faces in the photos. And even though Jeff told me they were deleted, something in his voice made me wonder.
Nevertheless, there we were on Sunday afternoon, walking into Mom & Dad’s house, which was already full of family. Jeff and Denise were there, along with their kids, as well as our other brother Doug, who was recently divorced. There unfortunately weren’t any aunts, uncles, or cousins to take some of the attention off of us. The knot in my stomach was the size of a volleyball and I was on guard for any signs of arousal. I had tried to wear a non-descript dress that didn’t show off any of my curves. It looked frumpy but I didn’t want to take any chances.
I have to say, I quickly began to admire Jeff – there was no hint, no intimation of what we had done. He was the typical Jeff, the Jeff that I knew all my life. There were no leers, no knowing looks or winks or smiles. Just Jeff. It was a huge relief and I began to relax, although my mind was occasionally throwing images of our time together up into my head, particularly of seeing myself in the mirror with Jeff behind me, eating and fucking me. I was able to focus on other things, and thankfully (strange to say), Brayden was very cranky, and so much of my time was spent keeping him amused and happy.
The intent of the party, as told by our mother around the dinner table, was to have one last get-together before they headed off to Palm Springs for eight weeks. We all groaned and gave them a hard time about being lazy golf-addicted retirees. After dinner, when I was helping Mom do the dishes in the kitchen, and she asked me to watch the house while they were gone. I didn’t think anything of it, since my days were relatively free, other than caring for Brayden. But then she went into a lengthy discussion about all the indoor and outdoor plants that needed care, and finally told me that they wouldn’t be taking Buddy, their golden Labrador retriever with them, and would I mind coming over once a day, in the mornings, to walk him? I tried to protest and made hints toward putting him in a kennel, but he was old İstanbul Escort and really didn’t need much care, so I acquiesced.
After the dishes were done, we all sat out on the patio and watched the sun start to go down. It was at this time that Greg decided he wanted to make an announcement. “Oh no… here it comes… he found out somehow…” I thought, and felt my stomach start to knot up again, my hands starting to shake.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Sabrina, but I wanted it to be a surprise… I was selected for management, and will be promoted after I go through a two-week course in Chicago next month!”
I stared in disbelief, but then felt a huge wave of relief and jumped up to hug and kiss him. He had worked so hard for this and I was so proud of him. Everyone congratulated him, and out of the fridge in the basement my father brought up a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate with.
But something now had changed within me, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until about an hour later as we were driving home. I was sad that Greg would be almost across the country from our home in Seattle, and that he would be gone for so long. I tried to console myself, knowing that I had Brayden to keep me company. And then the thought occurred to me that Mom and Dad would be gone soon, and so I would have that responsibility to keep me occupied while Greg was gone. Then a little voice in my head said, “Remember what happened the last time Greg was gone.”
That was enough to throw me right back into the emotional roller-coaster for the remainder of the ride home. Thoughts of Jeff and I engaged in erotic sex at our parents house exploded inside my head, and I tried desperately to put the image out of my mind. This was going to be a long summer, I thought to myself.
Three days later, Denise called, and asked if she could stop by. I didn’t think anything of it, as it had been a while since we’d had coffee together and I figured she wanted to gossip about the family get-together and how awful my mother’s hair and cooking had been.
When she arrived, I thought I detected some nervousness in her voice and body language, but we soon were sipping coffee and indeed talking about the family get-together. She did keep crossing her legs and pulling her skirt down, something that made me wonder if this wasn’t just a social visit. I got up to take our coffee cups to the sink, and she moved over to the couch, settling into a corner. I sat down in the opposite corner, and we talked a little more about the summer, about Greg’s upcoming training in Chicago, and about me taking care of Mom and Dad’s house. Then she got a thoughtful, anxious look on her face. She said, “Sabrina, I’d like to talk to you about something… pretty serious. I mean, it’s not a bad thing, honest… but… it’s something I really want to talk to you about. I’d like to think that you and I have become close, and that I can share things with you, and I know you’ll keep them to yourself, despite what you may think inside.”
The now-familiar stomach knot was back, and I started to get nervous. I said, “Of course, Denise. I will do my best to keep our talks confidential and I will be honest with you.”
She smiled, and let out a long sigh of relief, and then said, “Thank you for that… I kind of thought you’d say that, but it means a lot to me to hear it from you, anyway.”
I smiled at her, and she smiled back, despite our mutual nervousness.
“Sabrina, please don’t be angry when I say this, but… Jeff told me how he helped you, a few weeks ago… with your breast milk.”
My head was spinning before she even finished her sentence. I couldn’t say anything and for some reason just kept staring at her, my hands shaking in my lap.
I finally said, in a very weak, unsteady voice, “What, um… did he tell you?”
She looked up and smiled, and said, “He told me everything, to be honest.”
“Like… what do you mean, everything?” I was beyond confused and disoriented at this point.
“Sabrina, please know that I’m not angry at all – at all. In fact I’m actually very happy that it happened.”
“What?” I said it out loud, but wasn’t sure if I was saying it to myself or to Denise.
“I said, I’m glad that you and Jeff had some intimacy, honestly. I think it’s great.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I think I caught you off-guard, so maybe I can explain why I’m ok with it, maybe that will give you some time to compose your thoughts?”
I weakly nodded. She said, “Right before Jeff and I got married, we had a long series of discussions, which mainly centered around sex. We talked about sexual fantasies we wanted to live out, as well as people we wanted to have sex with, whether it was possible or not. We both came to the agreement that, if an opportunity ever came about for one of us to expand our sexual horizons, we should be free to take it, without any condemnation from the other.”
“I’m not sure what that means.”
“It Escort Bayan means that, while we loved each other very much, and were intent on getting married, we also wanted a certain amount of freedom to have sexual experiences with other people, besides just each other.”
“You mean you were swingers.”
“No. We definitely weren’t interested in that.”
“So… what, then? I don’t understand.”
“Ok… well, hopefully this won’t upset you more, but… you know that Doug and I dated for a while, before I started to date Jeff, right?”
“I think so… I was what… 13 or 14 when you guys went out?”
“That sounds about right. We dated for almost 9 months. Anyway… when Jeff and I were having our discussions about our sex lives before we got married, we talked a lot about Doug, and my desire to still be with him… from time to time.”
“Wait… let me get this straight… you were in love with Jeff… were going to marry him… but also wanted to continue to have sex with Doug?”
She nodded and softly said, “Yes, that’s right.”
“So… you have been sleeping with both of them… for… how long?”
“I guess it would be for over 16 years.”
I blurted out, “I don’t know what to say, Denise… I don’t know if I believe you… I’m not sure if I want to believe you… how often do you get together with him? Jeff is ok with all of this?”
A million thoughts raced through my head. I just couldn’t believe what prim and proper Denise was telling me.
“We get together once a month, more or less… and yes, Jeff is ok with all of this, and… sometimes he joins us.”
If I ever could be more stunned by what she said, I certainly was now. I half-whispered, “You said Jeff… sometimes joins you and Doug?”
She didn’t say anything, but nodded.
“I don’t know what to say, Denise.”
“I know it’s a lot to digest, Sabrina, and I sincerely hope I haven’t ruined our friendship and the trust that we share.”
“It is a lot to think about, that’s for sure… wow.” We sat in silence for a little while.
“So, the reason that I’m glad that you and Jeff were able to be intimate, was because when we were having our discussions about our sex lives, one of the people he listed as wanting to have sex with, was you.”
In a weird way, I knew that this made sense, based on how Jeff had thanked me sincerely for our time together. I nodded, and said, “That makes sense, sort of.”
We sat for a few more minutes in silence, and then I said, “So… what all did Jeff tell you, about our time together.”
“Quite a bit, actually.”
My curiosity was peaked, and I said, “Like, what?”
She laughed, and said, “Well, for one thing, he’s totally infatuated with your ass.”
I laughed at that. Denise continued, “And, he said that getting to eat you was a dream come true… that you tasted sweet, and fresh… and that your pussy was perfect for eating, as well as for fucking.”
I blushed, and said, “I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“And, he said you were amazed at how much come he produced… to this day I’m still amazed at his, volume, so to speak.”
“No kidding… he’s quite the gusher.”
Her voice softened when she said, “And… the best part of it, for him, was when you two made passionate love together. More than anything else, that will be what he remembers best.”
“It was very erotic… and passionate… and I’m still not certain I should feel that way about him, about my brother.”
“Oh, I think it’s a good thing, to be honest.”
“And you’re not jealous, at all?”
“Nope, not jealous… well, maybe a little jealous when he told me how tight you were, and when I saw the pictures and video.”
“WHAT?!?! He showed you the pictures and video?”
“Sabrina, please don’t be upset, please. He did show us the pictures, and the video. He was just so exhilarated from the whole experience, and needed to share what had happened. And it would have been impossible to understand what you and he had done, if we hadn’t had the pictures and video to illustrate it all.”
I was so angry that I didn’t catch it initially, but after a few minutes of calming down, I said, “He showed you the pictures… but then you said he showed ‘us’ the pictures. Who, exactly, is ‘us’?”
She could tell I was still upset, but looked me in the eyes, and said, after swallowing hard, “Jeff showed both me and Doug the pictures and video.”
He showed Doug. I couldn’t believe it. Now my other brother knew what a whore I was, not to mention my sister-in-law. “Great. That’s just great. Who else did you show the pictures to? Are they out on the internet for the whole world to see? Maybe print them out in eight by ten glossies and give them to Mom and Dad as a Christmas present?”
Denise looked down at the floor, and said very quietly, “Nobody else saw them, Sabrina. And nobody else will ever see them. After we looked at them, we burned the digital camera card. The pictures are Eskort gone for good.”
I started to calm down, but was still angry enough to remark sarcastically, “Wow, what a relief. Jeff told me nobody would ever see the pictures. How am I supposed to believe you?”
“I’m not trying to excuse away what Jeff did, Sabrina, but you have to look at it from his perspective, too – he finally, after years and years, was able to live out his wildest fantasy of all time. If that happened to you, do you really think you could have kept it a secret? Especially from those closest to you?”
She had a point. I didn’t say anything, didn’t want to say anything, but I knew she was right. I apologized again, saying, “I’m sorry. This is just a lot to take in. I’ve been so worried that someone might find out, and then we’d be ruined. And the fact that I so quickly jumped into an adulterous affair with my brother has really made me question my loyalty to Greg. What kind of woman does that sort of thing? And how can you do that sort of thing, with both of them?”
“It does take some adjustments, but over time I have come to the perspective that sex between two people is really a bond of love. I’m not talking about casual sex, where you don’t even know the other person. I’m talking about sharing a level of intimacy with someone you love and trust, from the inside out. That perspective has given me the freedom to also explore my sexuality. And if you ask me, it has been worth it, every single moment. You shared a wonderful intimacy with Jeff, and there is no shame in that. And, to be honest with you, Sabrina, based on the pictures, and videos, and what Jeff told me about your time together, it seems like you were more than a willing partner. I think you needed that intimacy, and Jeff was the perfect man to give it to you – loving, trusting, sincere, not some jerk off the internet you’ve never met and don’t know. Please forgive me – I’m not trying to preach, honest. But I just want to share with you my perspective, to help you work through the feelings you’re going through.”
I smiled weakly and said, “Thanks… I know you’re trying to help, and I appreciate your honesty, really.”
We sat in silence for a few more moments, and then I said, “So… why did you feel so strongly about wanting to tell me all this?”
“Well, Jeff asked me to broach the subject with you, about the possibility of getting together with him, again, when Greg goes to Chicago for training. To be honest, he has some fantasies involving you and him, at your parents’ house.”
I laughed out loud, and said, “What a pervert… totally insatiable.”
“You can say that again.”
“So he wants more, does he… I just don’t know, Denise. A little part of me still thinks it’s wrong… but what you just said a little while ago makes a lot of sense. I need to think about it. I need some time to sort it out. There is a part of me, though, that is screaming yes… I hate to say it, but… wow was the sex great. I mean like really great. Like the best I’ve ever had.”
“Really? That’s what Jeff said too!”
“Yes, seriously! He said that it was apparent to him that Greg wasn’t taking care of your needs… and he was glad to assist you in your time of agony.”
“What a pervert… man, I thought my breasts would explode, it was so painful.”
“I know what you mean, but it sounds like your engorgement was much worse than mine.”
“It was really bad. I suppose I should be eternally thankful that Jeff was so willing.”
We laughed, and then Denise said, “So was Jeff right, about yours and Gregs’ sex life not being so good?”
“Yep… he was right on the money. Greg and I were pretty hot for each other, but once I got pregnant, well… the fire just kind of went out. I did my best to get back into shape, and, to be honest, I’m pretty proud of how fast I got back into my non-maternity clothes… but Greg said that watching me give birth, and breast-feed, was somewhat disgusting to watch. And so… the sex life is still lagging. And I don’t see any signs of revival.”
“That is too bad. Jeff and I did it up until the ninth month, for all our kids, and we were right back at it as soon as the doctor cleared me. And, thanks for reminding me… I meant to say something to you at the get-together, but… you do look absolutely fabulous… I don’t blame Jeff and Doug for wanting you so badly, especially after seeing you in that lingerie. That thong of yours was delicious.”
She smiled at me, and I wasn’t sure what she meant by what she had just said. “What do you mean?”
“Well, without being too forward, let me just say that I very much enjoyed your scent and your flavor from the thong.”
I gasped and said, “Denise! Are you kidding me?”
She smiled and said, “Absolutely not.”
“Oh wow… I think my head is going to explode…” Despite my best efforts, I knew full well that I had become fully aroused over the course of this conversation.
She just smiled, and then said, “I hate to say this, but I have to get going – have to pick up the kids from a friends house.”
“Well, thank you for telling me all this. I really am feeling much better about this, honest. It’s nice to be able to talk about it, to get it off my chest.”