This is the final chapter of this story. Thank you for coming along for the ride, and leaving me your kind comments. I hope to be better next time around!
There is a moment of unprotected sex, but I know you all know to use a condom to be safe.
Changing POV will be noted with******* Enjoy!
I stood, silently at my parent’s grave unsure of how to grieve the loss of parents I once loved. They had become so distant and hateful, because they could not accept their gay son. Now the pain and regret and loss twisted up inside of me and settled into a knot in the pit of my stomach. A silent rain had begun, lending a sinister air to the cemetery. I barely felt the hands clapping my shoulder or heard the words of sympathy, as friends, and mourners filed away from their gravesite.
It was not fair that this was happening. I sucked in the crisp cold air and watched it wisp in a cloud as I breathed out. The ache, the emptiness I felt was still there. It loomed, threatening and undeniable. I lifted my head upward and let the rain slice across my face, the cold drops mixed in with my tears until I tasted their saltiness on my lips. When I looked down again, I caught a movement between the trees amongst the headstones.
William. I blinked rapidly to clear my vision. He was walking towards me now. The rain parted like a curtain bringing him into focus. My head filled with the pounding of my heart drumming out all sound. William. I reached my hands out to him. I felt myself stagger in his direction, mouthing his name. William, William, William. He caught me before I fell to the ground.
I don’t know how long we sat like that, in the graveyard, in the steely rain.
“I’m here Kyle.” He soothed. “Let it go, you can let go, I’m here.”
I let William hold me until the storm of tears and grief had passed. He would understand without judgment why I was crying. I mourned the loss of my parents, but only because that loss meant that I was free of their shadow. It was relief and freedom that I felt. I was honestly quite happy that I could live my life without trying to prove my worth yet falling short in their eyes. Did I love them? Yes, they were after all my parents. But I would always mourn the people I thought they could be. We were both soaked by the time I felt in control. I looked at William, questions swarming in my head. I needed answers, but now wasn’t the time.
“C’mon Kyle.” He said pulling me up. I let myself be led away from the cemetery. The ride to my parent’s house was spent in silence. When we pulled into the drive there were still people at the house. I was not up to accepting condolences. I looked wildly at William. He put his hand reassuringly on my arm and squeezed. We read each other perfectly.
“I’ll take care of it. You go straight to your room, put some dry clothes on, and get in bed.”
I nodded. I wanted to fight him. I didn’t want him taking care of me, telling me what to do. I didn’t want it to be him that I needed. Later, I decided. I will deal with him later.
Sleep was long in coming even though I was exhausted. The house sounded quiet, so I made my way downstairs. William was at the kitchen counter surrounded by mountains of donated food. I watched him work. He had obviously kept his training up despite not being able to play. His body was sinewy and muscular. The grey t-shirt he had changed into clung to him like a second skin. He was gorgeous and still sexy as hell. I felt the beginnings of betrayal in my groin as my wayward thoughts stirred it to life. Yeah, there would be none of that. I cleared my throat loudly and walked over to where he stood.
“Why do people always bring food to a funeral?” I asked making a show of peering into the packages.
William shrugged. “It’s a comfort thing.”
I felt him watching me as I sat. “I made you something to eat.”
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”
Will fixed me with a stare that said it wasn’t a request. I knew that look. I tried hard to forget that look. Now I was welcoming its familiarity. Damn him. I took the bowl he pushed toward me and slowly began eating its contents. I was actually hungry but I would not admit that now. I ate, and he cleaned, in the awkward silence that followed. I wanted to say something, anything but I was overwhelmed by my larger desire to wrap my arms around him and lose myself. I was so screwed.
“Kyle!” I looked up sharply at the sound of my name to find William looking at me questioningly. “Do you want any more?”
I looked down at the bowl and mindlessly pushed it away. “No, no I’m good.” I pushed away from the counter and stood. “I – I think I’ll go back to bed.”
“Okay. I’ll finish up here before I leave.”
“Hey, um William” I saw him stiffen when I called him by his full name and refused to meet his eyes. Instead, I coughed and started again. “If I don’t get to say it, thank you. You know for back there and this.” I swept my hand lamely around the kitchen. I turned .to walk away but couldn’t quite make it.
“Why are you here William?” Forcing him now to abandon his chore and face me. Beylikdüzü escort
“The easy answer? Your parent’s funeral. I knew you would be feeling conflicted and guilty about losing them, and what that would do to you.”
I waved away his explanation. “Not that. Why are you here, in my parent’s house, handling guests, putting food away?” Taking care of me, I finished silently.
He inhaled deeply and pinned me with those baby blues of his. “I am here for you. I love you. I want to,, no, I need to know that you are okay.”
I felt myself leaning in towards him and stopped just in time. “Why? So you can walk away when it’s over. Am I just supposed to let you take over my life, and take care of me until you decide it’s enough? This can’t be the thing that makes you feel less guilty William.” I walked away but not before I saw the hurt cloud his eyes.
In my room, I crawled into my sheets and let the hurt I was keeping at bay consume me. I hated that some part of me wanted to reach out to Will. I hated that I wanted to feel him around me while I fell to pieces. I absolutely hated that all of me wanted to reach out to Will because I missed him so desperately.
I barely heard the knock before Will pushed the door open. I feigned sleep hoping he would go away. I felt him pull the covers up over my shoulders. My eyes closed tightly against the feel of his fingers as he swept them gently across my cheek. I felt him pull away.
“Stay.” It was a whisper.
“Kyle, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m across the street at Dad’s if you need me.”
“Stay Will, please.” I pleaded. “I don’t want you to go.” Only knowing that I needed William, I moved over to make room for him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
William kept his t-shirt and stripped down to his boxers, then climbed into bed beside Kyle. They lay, facing each other, not daring to touch. Kyle’s breath suddenly hitched on a sob and William reached out and brushed Kyle’s tears with his thumb. That touch was all they needed. The space between them closed in seconds.
William saw the hurt in Kyle’s eyes, and knew he was responsible for putting it there. He felt the anger in the arms that wrapped around him. William also felt in that moment the need and desperation that coursed through Kyle, and became desperate to take it all away. Before he changed his mind he let his emotions take over. William rolled over on top of Kyle, entwining both their hands and pinning them above Kyle’s head.
He lowered his head and kissed Kyle slowly, savoring the feel of his soft trembling lips. Teeth clinked, tongues battled for dominance. They missed each other. That much William was sure of. William pressed his hips into Kyle’s and began to exert pressure, grounding their hips together. He dragged his mouth from Kyle’s and worked his way down his body, reacquainting himself with Kyle’s body. This is for Kyle, he kept thinking. His hands spread over his shoulders and down Kyle’s well built arms. His fingers traced the outline of Kyle’s stomach and then he followed that with his lips. William buried his nose in Kyle’s fine pubic hairs, inhaling his manly scent.
There was a moment of hesitancy before William took Kyle in his mouth, but that was quickly abandoned when Kyle moaned his name. William rubbed his thumb across the slit of Kyle’s dripping manhood, his own cock threatening to explode with need. He replaced his hand with his mouth sheathing Kyle’s cock in moist heat. His tongue gently stroked the underside of Kyle’s shaft, suckling at his balls paying equal attention to each. He nestled his tongue in the dark crevice of his anus slurping at the sweetness of his tight pucker before engulfing Kyle’s dick into his mouth once more. Kyle moaned and quivered as he pushed his hips deeper into William’s mouth. He whimpered as Will pulled off him and let go of his aching cock head with a pop. Will stretched his hand up to tease Kyle’s nipples, tugging at the hair around it before rolling the nubs between his fingers. This dragged out a long groan from Kyle. William smiled to himself. Kyle always did love that. William continued to work his mouth around Kyle’s cock, humming his pleasure around its hardness. Kyle gripped Will’s head holding him to his crotch as Will bobbed. William squeezed Kyle’s ass before he slipped a finger between his cheeks working Kyle into a frenzy.
“Ohh God. Yes Will.” Kyle cried out.
Will felt Kyle’s body convulse and moments later warm, salty juices shot to the back of his throat. He swallowed and lapped it all until Kyle finally slowed to a trickle. Will slowly made his way back up to Kyle kissing his tear stained cheeks tenderly then kissing his mouth soundly before wrapping him in his arms. Kyle just let him, since there was no need to say anything.
William started to feel like a huge prick, wondering if he had just taken advantage of the man that he loved, with all that was going on. He wanted to tell Kyle how much he missed him and loved him and how much of an ass he had been for leaving but instead, he held Kyle tighter to him hoping Beylikdüzü escort that he had just not screwed up completely. William lay awake hours later listening to Kyle breathe, wondering what came next.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that William was not in bed with me. I felt bereft of his presence. It was particularly unsettling how easily I let myself fall back in with William in spite of how ambivalent I was feeling. I missed him, and having him around even for a day made me realize that I was no where near over him and I didn’t want to be. I loved William and there was nothing I could do about it.
He was not kidding when he said he knew what my parents’ death would do to me. To have William here was an unanswered prayer, but one I could not depend on. William was not available, last night was an impossibly heart wrenching mistake. I had to balls up.
I smelled the coffee before I hit the bottom of the stairs and my traitorous heart swelled a little as I walked into the kitchen. Bastard! He knew I loved the pumpkin muffins from the diner. I sighed, grabbed one with my coffee and went in search of William. I found him standing on the deck facing out to the back yard.
“I thought you left.” I said by way of greeting.
“I did. I went for a run, took a shower,” he turned around, and smiled disarmingly “I see you found the muffins.”
I raised the muffin up in a mock salute. “Couldn’t resist.” We stood taking each other in.
“Are we going to talk about last night?” Will asked, folding his arms as if to ward of the chilly morning air.
I stilled, coffee halfway to my lips. “Nope.” I replied shortly, managing to coat my voice in ice and distance. I saw the shadow pass over Will’s face. He was trying, and he was here. I placed the cup down on a side table out of my trembling hands.
I sighed. “I don’t know how to deal with this.” The curtain dropped a little.
“You can let me be there for you.” He saw the uncertainty in my expression. “I want to help you Kyle, let me help you.” William pleaded.
I was suddenly agitated and angry at William for offering what he wasn’t free to give and what he had not been willing to take from me.
“What would Neil have to say about that?” I spat at him.
“Neil? What does Neil have to do with this? With us?” He sounded incredulous.
“He had a say in everything else.” I accused. “He got you to leave didn’t he? Leave everything you knew. Everyone. Me! And there is no us. You made sure of that when you walked away.” I suddenly felt cold and walked away heading inside.
Following two steps behind was William. He spun me around and held me against the wall. “Is that what you think Kyle? That I left because Neil wanted me to? I might have been the biggest ass about it, but I left because I needed space, distance away from you, and my family. I had a brain injury and you all acted like I was a cripple. It was hard enough for me to come to terms with. You were so controlling and assumptive of what you thought I needed, of what I wanted and what I should be doing. I hated the way you looked at me with pity, like somehow I had failed you. It filled me up Kyle, I couldn’t breathe.”
“Fuck you William! You don’t think I got all that. That I would have understood even more if you had talked to me. You were bitter and depressed and angry. I expected that. Would have gladly put up with it. I put up with all the other bullshit. What I didn’t expect was for you to turn me away and offer your ass up to someone else.” Will’s face drained of color but I was past caring.
“You needed space, hell I could have given you that. Except that was not what you needed Will! What you needed. What you wanted. What you got was Neil, and your brain injury was a neat convenience to that end. So what are you hoping for here? That I’d be so hung up on you when you showed up loving and caring that I would beg you to take me back. Beg you, so you would not have to own up to the shitty way you left.” I knew looking at him it wasn’t true, but I was angry. The minute the words left my mouth I regretted them.
He loosened his grip on me. “I’m sorry, I should go before we really say any more.”
“Go then, walk away from me again,” We stared each other down, until William turned to walk away and suddenly found himself spun around and his face pressed up against mine. I was still pretty incensed and breathing heavily.
“I don’t want to walk away Kyle. I don’t want to fight. I want to stay. I want to be with you. I want..” His thoughts trailed off as he stared into my eyes.
I traced the thin line of the scar on his head with trembling fingers. I assaulted his lips in a bruising hungry fashion. God, even now as angry as I was, I wanted him. My hands slipped inside his pants and groped at his dick surprised to find it semi erect. Pulling away slightly I whispered into his mouth.
“Tell me you want me Will. Say it.”
“I want you Kyle.” Will breathed. “Only you.”
I turned Will around roughly and bent him over the counter. Pulling Escort Beylikdüzü his pants and boxers over his ass to his knees, I spat in my hand and used it as lube on my cock. Using the tip of my leaking head I coated his entrance and was inside him in one swift move. Ignoring the sound of pain I know he felt, I pounded into him, and jerked his dick, just as furiously. It was meant to be punishing, but we were both soon moaning in agonizing pleasure, feeding an appetite too long ignored. As angry as I was, I enjoyed the feel of my bare cock in Will’s ass. I had missed feeling his muscles clench tightly around me. Those feelings had me pounding harder and faster into him. Pleasure suffused me, coursing down my legs making it nearly impossible to stand. Will had his bottom lip caught between his teeth, eyes closed, and was making such sweet grunting sounds. I didn’t last long and we came almost simultaneously with a satisfying groan. Panting I fell over onto Will’s back.
Slowly I pulled my softening cock out of Will. I was choked up and feeling remorse. We had never been this rough with each other, but it was hot, and loud and sweaty. I loved Will so much but I didn’t want to hurt him this way. I stepped back and pulled my pants up.
“Do you feel better?” Will asked into the quiet. “I’m sorry I left you, I’m sorry I hurt you. I will do anything for you to forgive me Kyle, anything. I can take it.”
My response was to leave the room slamming the door behind me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Five minutes later when the door opened Will looked up expectantly, surprised to see his father walk through the opening.
“Dad, what are you doing here?”
“I was going to ask you boys out to lunch with me, but I saw Kyle speed out of here. What happened?”
William could always count on his father to guide him and give him good advice, even though he didn’t always listen. He filled his father in on the Kyle situation, leaving out the non essential details.
“What do I do Dad? I love him.”
“Son, when you left, Kyle tried really hard to act like everything was okay. I don’t know if you realize how much your decision hurt him. It hurt me, but I’m your father. You can’t walk back in like you never left. You can’t expect him to just fall in. You have to know what you want and you can’t take the love between you two for granted. That would be a mistake that could cost you everything. Talk to him he’s hurting too.”
“I know what I want that never changed. I want Kyle always. I just don’t know if Kyle is ready to forgive me.”
“Well, you won’t know that until you talk. Tell him the truth.”
William’s dad prepared to leave then turned to look at his son.
“William, I love you, and you know I love Kyle. You two will get nowhere if you don’t communicate. You both can’t always keep running away when things go south. If you love each other and you want to be together you have to fight for it good or bad.”
With a nod, his dad was gone leaving William alone to wait for Kyle to return.
* * * * * * * * * * *
When I returned home, I was disappointed that Will was not there. I was hoping against hope, he had stayed and we would work it out and I could say how sorry I was. Dejectedly, I made my way to my room. When I pushed open the door, my heart galloped out of my chest. Will was asleep in my bed. I watched him, overcome with tenderness. He was always so beautiful asleep. I crawled to the floor and placed my chin on the bed near his face.
“Will, hey.” I whispered, and leant in kissing him on the nose.
He shifted, and sleepy eyes opened to stare at me. A hint of a smile hovered on his lips.
“Hey. You were gone a long time.”
I drummed my fingers across his forehead.
“I’m sorry Will, I didn’t mean any of that. I was just so angry.”
He swung his feet off the bed and joined me to sit on the floor. A slight wince reminded me of the assault on his ass earlier.
“There was nothing ever between Neil and me. I just let you believe that and that was wrong and I’m sorry. When Neil got picked up by the Yankees, he suggested I move with him to gain clarity and sort things out. Only after he noticed how frustrated I was getting. And I was letting everything get in the way of me getting better. It seemed a good idea at the time. I was angry, and Neil didn’t talk about how I was feeling, or if I took my meds. He wasn’t looking at me every second as if he were afraid I would suddenly fall over. I love you Kyle, I couldn’t handle the idea of never being able to play again and I took it out on you.” He took my hand and kissed the back of my knuckles before softly continuing.
“I didn’t want to burden you or have you take care of me. I didn’t want to see you look at me with pity. I lost sight of what the future was for us. The future I had planned was just disappearing before me. I was angry and bitter and I know now you were trying to help. I just wasn’t ready to accept it. I didn’t want to depend on you and my pride wouldn’t let me. In the end it was easier to convince myself that leaving for New York with Neil was better for us because he didn’t expect anything from me. I’m sorry I couldn’t let you help me and I know now I couldn’t do it without you. I’m so sorry and I know we promised never to walk away and I broke that promise.”